Solo Travel Affirmations for Parents
Positive affirmations are used to help combat negative or self defeating thoughts. For example a parent might have the following thoughts around solo travel:
“ I won’t be able to afford this trip and their last week of summer camp. They were really looking forward to it.”
“Am I being selfish for choosing to go on this trip? Yup, I’m being selfish again.”
“ Ugh. I can never do anything just for me! But I know being a parent requires sacrifice. I just won’t go.”
Yikes. Lots of assumptions and judgement to unpack there. I’m A therapist but not YOUR therapist so we won’t do that here. Lol What I will offer is that thoughts like those can easily spiral into resentment and self pity. Not a road we want to go down. Our babies don’t deserve manufactured positivity, our seemingly forced martyrdom that is enabled by societal messages around gender roles and no, they definitely don’t deserve our resentment.
Our identities as humans are multifaceted, whether we are a parent or not. Positive affirmations are verbal reminders that we are whole, flexible humans and they are kryptonite to intrusive negative thoughts like the ones above. Theories on this exist. If you want to learn more Google "self affirmation theory" and "cognitive restructuring".
Some positive affirmations you can try:
I am modeling healthy self care practices for my children. This is an important value in our home.
I trust my judgement. I trust that my chosen family will care for and protect my children while I am gone.
I deserve to explore other parts of myself outside of parenthood.
I am deserving of extended periods of rest and play.
It’s also okay not to travel.
I could write about the inability to pour from an empty cup and how we keep trying to anyway but there’s another take that’s just as important. You don’t have to go. Really. I don’t have an anxiety disorder. My worry is generalized yes but it’s also well controlled. I don’t perseverate on safety or ruminate on my partner’s tone and worry that he’s overwhelmed. Any panic I have is usually short lived and shows up in the first week that I’m gone. If being away will increase anxiety to the point that you can’t enjoy yourself, breathe and clap for yourself. It’s okay. You’re human! I have absolutely cut trips short just because I missed them. I needed to see them and touch them and hold them in real life. But that decision didn’t come from a place of fear, self judgement or crippling anxiety. Do you understand the difference yet? The decisions we make as parents, especially those of us with young children (mine are 2 and 8) are nuanced and varied. So this isn’t peer pressure to book a trip, it’s an invitation to think through negative thoughts you picked up around prioritizing yourself. And that can (should) be done before you blow the dust off your passport. You don’t have to go anywhere at all to examine that.
If you have questions or thoughts comment below. What comes up for you when you think about traveling without your children?
